Aa female for aa male

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You are so nervous to walk into your first AA meeting, and surprised when you actually enjoy it! Me too!! After the meeting, you are bombarded with people offering their support and phone s so you can start to get connected and learn the ins an outs of recovery living.

What do you do when you are a woman in AA, and you are bombarded with men offering support and guidance and phone s?? The premise is that women work with women, and men work with men. And there are very good reasons for this. IMO, everyone on the planet has trauma.

There are many super traumatic events that are regular every day occurrences ie. And sometimes, coping with trauma and its after effects in addiction from self-medicating.

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And addiction, sometimes in AA. As a person with addiction, I have a compulsive nature. So most of us have secondary addictions or compulsions like sex, love, gambling, shopping, or food. I can use shopping to numb or ignore my feelings about something just like I used tequila. It gives me a shot of all those natural feel-good things and my little addicted brain lights up like a Christmas tree! Nine times out of ten, well, okay, 9. Co-dependence, low self-esteem, inability to stand up for ourselves, and anxiety with a side of self-loathing. None of this is uncommon or weird, there is nothing wrong with you if you have one or all of these.

This is where you hear the term emotional sobriety because these are the things we have to work on. We have to learn how to regulate our emotions, not fly off the handle and throw a fit or scream and yell. These are the issues we are working on when we work the steps and learn how to live without substances. Boys and girls process things differently and filter things differently. This is why we have women only meetings and men only meetings- so we can talk about our issues and our solutions as we understand them with our own gender.

And, going back to 1, a woman who was sexually assaulted, and a man whose wife cheated on him causing infidelity trauma, are sometimes not going to want to be in meetings with the opposite sex. Sometimes, women are just more comfortable with women and men more so with men.

If you take a woman from 1 with sex trauma, and connect her with a man from 2 with sex addiction, and both of them have 3 emotional issues, what does this equal? We are loving and kind, supportive and accepting. At the same time, there are very good reasons for all of us to stay on our side of the street. When you are new to a meeting as a woman, try to stick with the other women while you are figuring things out.

If men offer their s, say thank you, and tell them you have gotten a lot of s already Aa female for aa male those are hard enough to keep track of.

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Be gracious and grateful, and know that often times no one is intentionally overstepping boundaries or trying to make you uncomfortable. But there is no need to open a door you may not be prepared to handle. Same if you are a man. If women offer their s, kindly decline and blame it on your sponsor if you have to. Tell her your sponsor would kick your ass if you were exchanging s with a woman! This is because it is more important that your life be stable while you are getting used to your new way of living and thinking.

The best thing you can do is stay as calm and steady as possible while your brain figures out your new normal. There are wayyyyyy more humans WITH trauma than without. Secondary Addictions As a person with addiction, I have a compulsive nature.

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Emotional Issues Nine times out of ten, well, okay, 9. Conclusion If you take a woman from 1 with sex trauma, and connect her with a man from 2 with sex addiction, and both of them have 3 emotional issues, what does this equal? Related Posts. Sober Habits v. Drunk Habits. May 24th, Getting Sober. May 7th, Are You Alcoholic?

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April 16th, Newcomers in AA. April 12th, April 5th, Mia March 30, at pm. Angela April 3, at am. Thank you, Mia! I hope this helped explain things a bit! Go to Top.

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